Making Love, Not Sex

I feel as though the term "making love" is not as common as it used to be. It is more and more common to hear someone that they have had sex with someone rather than made love with that person. There are a few reasons I believe this is the case. I feel as though sex has become less of an intimate act between someone you love, but rather a recreational sport you can do with just about anyone. It is not longer valued as a gift that you can give to your significant other, but a way to pass time. It is not viewed as a sacred act between a man and a woman anymore. I feel like it has become more of a selfish thing today. Instead of looking at sex as something to give to your partner to make her/him happy, people do it just for the pleasure they receive themselves. This warped thinking of sex adds to the view of having sex just for fun and not to grow closer with your partner.

When you are married, being intimate and making love are very important to having a successful marriage. Now being intimate with someone is different from making love. I want to make that clear because for a long time I have thought that those two are the same thing! But being intimate with someone means having that physical touch like being close with someone, hugging, kissing or making out, holding hands. It does not have to be sexual intercourse. These things, of course, can lead to making love which makes a person less stress and more positive in mood the next day (Burleson, Trevathan, and Todd 2007). This can lead to the improvement of the relationship so that is why it is so important to have that physical aspect of the marriage so strong. Sometimes I feel like talking about making love is taboo in our mormon culture because we talk about how wrong it is outside the bonds of marriage. I feel like we need to do better about talking about how it is a beautiful gift from God and that we need to embrace the want to be physical with our spouse. This way people won't feel so uncomfortable when it comes to the time when they are actually married and are allowed to make love with their spouse. I also think it is important to talk with our children young about sex and the different feelings that they will get throughout puberty so they feel comfortable coming to you with questions and not someone else.

I feel like reverting back to the term making love would turn the act of sexual intercourse into a more intimate and sacred one and then maybe will not be so quick to have sex with just anyone.