Theories and Relationships

Something that I have been thinking a lot lately is the exchange theory. After learning about different system theories, I feel like this one in particular stood out to me because I have experienced this one before. Exchange theory is also known as the "give and take" theory. This can be an extremely dangerous concept to have, particularly in a relationship. The idea of expecting something when we do something for someone else is not a healthy way to live, and quite frankly, a selfish one. I have met people in my life where if they do a favor for you, they will hold on to it and remind you of the time they have done something nice in order for you to do something for them. It amazes me when people can go through their life having the attitude of "what is it in it for me?". I feel like these type of people will never be completely satisfied in a relationship and could never really have a happy, healthy relationship. To have a strong relationship, there has to be selflessness involved. You need to be caring, thoughtful, and serving. Instead of thinking "what is in it for me?", think instead "how can I serve my other half better?".

Another thing that I have been thinking about is important communication is in a relationship. Not only is it important to have an open line of communication, but also to recognize how people can take things differently. An example that I heard was how a woman could want to talk about the problems in the relationship and want to share their feelings about the situation. The husband, on the other hand, did not want to say anything because he loves his wife so much and does not have to start any contention but starting a fight. So in result, he does not respond when the wife wants to talk about their problems and the wife takes this as him not caring. But in reality, it was the husband wanting to spare her feelings. It is so easy to take things the wrong way and if we don't address mishaps like this one, it can really put a strain on the relationship. That is why I feel it is so important to people to talk about how they feel!! If you are in a relationship where you can not be open and talk about the hard things, then is that really a relationship you want to be in?