What are your "Bids"?

Have you wondered how in tune you actually are to your spouses emotional cues? For example, say your spouse is putting your clothes in the laundry and they keep sighing pretty loud. Do you just ignore this? Or do you ask them is something is bothering them? Doing something so simple, such as asking is there is anything wrong, can really bring you and your spouse together. The reactions we have to our spouse is so critical to the way our relationship will be. If our spouse says a “bid” that comes off as harsh, we can do one of two things. One, you can become defensive and say something in return super rude which can lead into a argument. Or you can recognize that your spouse is frustrated and respond in a calming way that help your spouse feel better. When you do this,”partners are making a choice to turn toward each other rather than away”. It can definitely become difficult when your spouse says something harsh to you and you want to fight back. But if you want a lasting and loving relationship, you are going to have to give up those tendencies and really try to ask yourself,"Is there a deeper meaning become this harsh remark?". Asking yourself can really help save you and your spouse a lot of time from having fights over nothing.

Everything that we do in this life is a choice. Everything we say and every single reaction that we have is a choice. We can choose to simply ignore our spouse's bids for attention or we can take personally every single thing they say. But,when in reality, it is about something else.We have two choices on how we can react to our partner and that can dictate the rest of the day for you both. When our partner snaps at us, we can either become defensive and snap back right back at them, or we can take a deep breath and react in a more loving way. I love the concept of turning towards our partner, not away.
Becoming emotional aware of our partner and their needs is SO important to having a healthy and happy relationship.