Family Ties

When you first get married, finding the balance between starting your new ,independent family and keeping your family ties can be really tough. You have this new spouse and you want to make your own traditions,and rules but it can be hard when you have the influence of your family constantly telling you their advice (most of the time given without being asked).  I know couples that as soon as they get married, they move far away from their families and do not have much contact. They are so focused on making sure they live their own life and separate themselves that they forget the benefits and blessings to having good strong relationships with their family. On the flip side, I also know couples how have very close relationship with their parents, and that could have a negative impact on the couple's relationship. There needs to be a balance. You shouldn't cut off your family completely, but you also should not be dependent on your parents anymore. In the Bible it talks about this very thing.  In Genesis 2:24 it says, "Therefore, shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife;and they shall be one flesh."  We should be cleaving to our spouse! We should be turning to them and looking for them for support. When there are problems in the relationship, cleave to your spouse. 
Couples need to counsel together and if you do gain advice from other people, make sure to bring it up with your spouse and talk about it. In an article written by Harper and Olsen, it talks about this very thing. It says,"President Kimball identified some important points regarding family relationships. First married children should confide in and counsel with their spouses. Second, if possible, they should establish their own household, separate from their parents. Finally, any counsel from outside soured should be considered prayerfully by both spouses together." There is a lot of wisdom that we can gain from our parents and we should always appreciate that. But parents also need to respect their children and let them make the decisions for them and their spouse.




Source:Harper, J. M. & Olsen, S. F. (2005). "Creating Healthy Ties With In-Laws and Extended Families."