Another Parenting Blog??

Yes, sorry another parenting blog!! I just have so much to say on the topic and I am very passionate about it. There are so many different ways to parent and so many different books that tell you the correct way to raise your child. Some may not all preach the correct way, but if a parent is going out and trying to find the right teachings then you know that child is loved! Any parent that is willing to put forth the effort into trying to raise the best child that they can is definitely a parent that loves that child. Although we may love our child very much, parents are going to make mistakes. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that when I become a mom, I am going to make mistakes. And a lot of them. But with reading a lot of parenting books and taking a lot of classes, I hope to make a little bit less with the knowledge that I have learned. So I hope to instill some knowledge with you that you find worth reading!
How encouraging are you as a parent? Do you encourage them to the point where they feel a lot of pressure from you? Sometimes what we may think is encouraging, may after come off as discouraging to our child.

Here are some things that might apply to you.
If you are discourages you may:
- Focus on their mistakes or weaknesses
-Expect the worse from them or even too little
-Expect too much
-Being overprotective

If you are encouraging you may:
-Praise their strengths
-Show confidence in them
-Value the child as they are
-Stimulate Independence

These are just a few things that you may want to think about when you are trying to encourage and be there for your child. If we have more warmth and consistency with our child then there won't be a need with much strictness.

How To Parent

So I don't have any kids yet or anywhere NEAR to having kids so you're probably thinking,"How on earth do you know anything about raising kids?". Well, I don't. I mean not from personal experience anyway. But I have been taking a lot of classes that deal with parenting and the best way to parent and I have gained a lot of insight. I know it's probably hard to take advice from someone who doesn't know the struggles of raising a child, but just try to hear me out!
We all want to avoid harsh punishment with our kids right? We don't enjoy making our child feel worse for something that they did wrong. But how are they going to learn right? This thinking is completely outdated! If your child already feels wrong for something they did, why are we so quick to think making them feel worse will not only make them not do it again, but help the relationship between the child and parent? There are many alternative ways to deal with a child that does something wrong.

First Step: Identify with your child the specific act that was wrong
Second Step: Describe to your child the impact of that act
Third Step: Give a suggestion for one or more alternatives to the bad behavior
Fourth Step: A direct statement of what the punishment should be
Fifth Step: Give a statement of your expectation that your child will do better next time

Following these steps when punishing your child should be consistent and swiftly given, but never harsh! If we as parents want to build a healthy, loving relationship with our child, we need to start treating our children with respect. How can we expect respect if none is given?

Sources: "The Ten Basic Principles of Good Parenting" By Dr. Steinberg

Importance of Money

We need money to survive today. This is a fact that I do not think that will change anytime soon. But how important is money? I feel like it can be very easy to become obsessed with how much money we have or need to live comfortably. We live in a world where we need the newest car, the newest iPhone, or a vacation home up in the woods. But sometimes having all these nice things can come at a price. There are many households who have a duel income because they want to have the extra money. These couples want to make sure that their families have everything they need and more. But you actually end up losing money. Think about it. The more you have, the more you spend. I have noticed that in my life. When I had a job back home, I did not have to worry about spending $20 on a shirt because I was making that money. But know that I am up at college, I budget so much more. When homes have a duel income, you end up spending home. So it is really that important that the mom goes to work and leaves the children with a nanny? Is it worth not having the mother raise the children?

Wanting to have a lot of money and feel comfortable isn't necessarily bad, but it is one of those things where could focusing your time on your family be better. I heard that the battle in the world isn't good vs evil, but rather good vs more good. Having that boat isn't a bad thing, but if you are working 20 hours overtime to pay it off, it is worth missing out on family time? I think families that struggle with this need to make good shifts that strengthen the family. Something that we should remember is no success will overcome failure in the home. We need to look at what is our priority and if it is not our spouse and children, then we need to reevaluate ourselves.

Counseling with Each other

This week I learned about the importance of counseling with those we love and the importance of expressing how we feel in a loving way. When we express our pain to someone we love with blame, then that person will automatically become defensive. Say someone you love likes to make jokes that hurt your feelings. If you were to confront them in a way such as,"You know, you are such a jerk when you say things like that and it is the reason why I have low self esteem", they are most likely to become defensive. You just insulted them while trying to express how you feel. But if you were to express how you feel without blame, then it evokes compassion. For example saying something like,"You know, I don't appreciatedwhen you say those things because it hurts my feelings". You are telling that person that they have hurt your feelings and what they did to hurt your feelings. Confronting someone can be very difficult, but if done in the right way, you can receive positive results.

A scripture that I love is Proverbs 11:14. It states,"Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety". I love this scripture because it talks about the important of counseling with our council. I recently had an experience that has strengthen my testimony in counseling with our councils. This morning, my two roommates (who is my best friend and cousin) got into an argument. They are both pretty suborn so I knew that I would probably have to step in if things were to be resolved. I remember learning about a family council meeting and decided to apply that principle to this situation. Although one of my roommates really did not want to sit down and talk about things, I pleaded with her until she agreed. I started with a prayer to hopefully bring in the Spirit and then let them talk. I was sort of the mediator and made sure that no one would cut each other off or make sure that no one would roll their eyes. It was amazing to me that after we had sat down and talked, how we were able to clear things up. It ended up just being a lot of miscommunication that resulted in feelings being hurt, but after talking it out we were able to fix everything. I am so grateful that we decided to do that and I know that it really strengthened our friendship with each other.