Crisis=Shared Challenge

I recently heard someone say that it is important to view the crises in our families as a shared challenge. I absolutely LOVE this way of thinking and what we can learn from it. When a family goes through a crisis and they try to help each other through it, they will be able to function better. There is no doubt that there will be stressors in our lives and that our families will be put to the test. That is why we choose to come to this earth, isn't it? So how can we make sure that our family comes out stronger, rather than weaker? I think the way we think is a huge indicator on if we will survive a crisis in our life. Those with a positive outlook on life and deal with struggles with an optimistic view are more likely to come together as a stronger family. Sometimes it may be hard to look for the positives, but there is always something. I recently did a case study for one of my classes and it talked about a family who had three young boys. They had a flood in one of their homes and then a couple years later had a fire that was caused by one of the boys on accident. Both times the family was able to have a positive outlook on their situation. How did they do this during such a hard time? They talked about how they were able to become closer to one another when they lived in the motel. They tried to maintain normalcy by giving them responsibilities and also involving the kids in the process. Instead of the family trying to deal with their stresses on their own, they turned to each other during this hard time and I believe that it why they succeeded.

When things do get tough and it becomes hard to change our negative thinking, try to offer your thoughts to the Lord and ask Him to change you're thinking.  I know that when we involve the Lord in our lives, especially  during the hard times, He will bless us. It may not be in the way that we plan/think, but I know He will bless us nonetheless. I think it is also important to learn from our past stresses/crises in our lives. Think back to what we did wrong or what we wish we would have done. Take what you wish you would have done and use that to better cope for the next trial in your life. Being prepared for any possible stressors/crises will definitely help you stand strong during those times.

Making Love, Not Sex

I feel as though the term "making love" is not as common as it used to be. It is more and more common to hear someone that they have had sex with someone rather than made love with that person. There are a few reasons I believe this is the case. I feel as though sex has become less of an intimate act between someone you love, but rather a recreational sport you can do with just about anyone. It is not longer valued as a gift that you can give to your significant other, but a way to pass time. It is not viewed as a sacred act between a man and a woman anymore. I feel like it has become more of a selfish thing today. Instead of looking at sex as something to give to your partner to make her/him happy, people do it just for the pleasure they receive themselves. This warped thinking of sex adds to the view of having sex just for fun and not to grow closer with your partner.

When you are married, being intimate and making love are very important to having a successful marriage. Now being intimate with someone is different from making love. I want to make that clear because for a long time I have thought that those two are the same thing! But being intimate with someone means having that physical touch like being close with someone, hugging, kissing or making out, holding hands. It does not have to be sexual intercourse. These things, of course, can lead to making love which makes a person less stress and more positive in mood the next day (Burleson, Trevathan, and Todd 2007). This can lead to the improvement of the relationship so that is why it is so important to have that physical aspect of the marriage so strong. Sometimes I feel like talking about making love is taboo in our mormon culture because we talk about how wrong it is outside the bonds of marriage. I feel like we need to do better about talking about how it is a beautiful gift from God and that we need to embrace the want to be physical with our spouse. This way people won't feel so uncomfortable when it comes to the time when they are actually married and are allowed to make love with their spouse. I also think it is important to talk with our children young about sex and the different feelings that they will get throughout puberty so they feel comfortable coming to you with questions and not someone else.

I feel like reverting back to the term making love would turn the act of sexual intercourse into a more intimate and sacred one and then maybe will not be so quick to have sex with just anyone.